Rebecca Link juggles a lot of responsibilities in her day-to-day life.
In addition to being a solo parent, she’s also a solution strategist and procurement expert in the federal contracting field, the vice chair of the Title One Advisory Board for Fairfax County and the head of her own 501(c)3 nonprofit and parent group, NOVA Family First.
Link lost her husband, Ryan, after a battle with cystic fibrosis, a double lung transplant and eventual respiratory failure as a result. While raising two children on her own has been challenging, Link has found support in her local parenting community and wants to provide that same support for others.
Link, 41, lives in Centreville, Virginia, with her two children, Leighton (8) and Lennox (5).
Responses have been edited for length and clarity.
How did the experience of becoming a solo parent affect you?
It’s been an interesting journey, navigating the transition into being a solo parent with the responsibilities that come with that, processing the trauma of losing my best friend and partner and also supporting my children, specifically my son. My daughter was 18 months when [my husband] passed away, so she doesn’t remember a life that’s not the way it is today, because she was like a baby. My son had a really hard time, though, and so I had to support him through his understanding and journey of processing grief.
It’s been a learning experience, and it’s kind of redefined the way that I parent. I think that other parents might help their kids more, but I have a stronger focus on independent skills, so that way we are kind of a team.
How has your experience as a solo parent been different from that of parents with spouses?
Today is a great example of how things are different for me. Their school’s having a Turkey Trot, and the kindergarteners have it at one time, and the second graders have it later. And there are certain situations where it’s hard for me, as one person, to be able to be at all places at all times. It’s like this very carefully orchestrated dance that we do to make sure that everybody has fun and has their needs met. I think that’s something that people take for granted.
Can you tell me a bit about NOVA Family First and why you founded it?
When my son was born, I wanted to join a mom group and make friends who were also new moms. But in the mom groups and new mom meetups that I went to, I saw women really struggling, and it wasn’t a very welcoming atmosphere. And I was like, ‘Where are the cool moms that have fun together?’ And so, I had a couple girlfriends that had kids, and we started a Facebook group, and then they invited their friends. [As a rule, the group took a stance of] … everybody has their own circumstances and situations, and you shouldn’t be judgmental of what anybody says and does. And it’s definitely been difficult navigating that over the years, especially with so much going on in society. A lot of things have been challenging us not just as parents, but as human beings.
But it grew and grew, and we started doing events and working with other nonprofits in the area to help them meet their mission goals. It just made sense to turn it into a 501(c)3, so that way we would have the ability to accept and process donations on behalf of other organizations. We still have our core group, which is a little over 200 of us, but it’s become a great resource for parents to help each other out and find community.
How do you balance your work life and your family life?
I don’t know, honestly. [Laughs] My neighbors and friends say that I’m a superhuman because I juggle everything. I’m fortunate that I have a career that I have done really well in for some time now and that affords me the flexibility to work remotely.
I’m also a busybody. If I’m not busy, I’ll find something to get involved in. I do a lot of volunteer work, so I think that that kind of lends itself to being able to be present for my kids and their extracurriculars. I’m very involved at their school and in my career.
Sometimes, it burns me out a little bit, trying to be everywhere for everyone all the time, but for me, it’s worth it. I find joy in giving back and taking care of other people.
What do you hope your kids learn from you?
Always stand by your personal morals and ethics and do what you feel is right, even if it’s not the popular opinion or choice. And never let life win. I’ve already told this to my kids. I’m like, ‘Life is going to knock you down, and the key is to always get back up, even if you have to sit in the dirt for a little while. Get back up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.’
Family Favorites
Food: Taco night
Restaurant: There’s a Peruvian chicken place down the street that we love.
Local Spot: If you asked my kids, they would probably say sweetFrog.
Vacation Spot: We’re big beach bums, so anywhere with a beach.
Family Activity: Travelling together
