Parent You Should Know … Abigail Leonard

After spending years raising her children in Japan, journalist Abigail Leonard wrote the book “Four Mothers,” following the stories of mothers in Japan, Kenya, Finland and the United States.

Leonard lives in Washington, D.C.’s Cleveland Park neighborhood with her husband and their children — Phin (10), Hannah (8) and Nat (5).

This interview was edited for length and clarity.

What led you to become a journalist?
I always liked writing. In college, I wrote for the Daily Pennsylvanian. From there, I got really interested in journalism and how it allowed me to interact with the world in an interesting way and ask a lot of questions. I worked for CNN’s medical unit, then ABC’s, and ended up at PBS for a while. I did 30-minute documentaries covering public policy, and every week would be a different topic. It was really amazing to have that much space to tell stories.

Why did you move to Japan?
We were living in San Francisco at the time, and my husband’s job brought him to Tokyo a lot. His company wanted to open a Japan office. When I was six months pregnant, we moved to Japan so he wouldn’t have to keep traveling back and forth. I worked intermittently, doing reporting for NPR and the New York Times, and raised my three kids there.

How is parenting different in Japan versus the U.S.?
There’s a real culture of moms taking care of the kids in Japan; it’s very gendered. I wouldn’t see a lot of dads doing anything, and that puts a lot of pressure on the moms. On the other hand, there’s an incredible amount of public support. I would go to these incredible community centers and meet other new moms, and there were public health nurses there who would give us advice on whatever was causing us anxiety at the time.

Japan was a wonderful place to raise kids, and I think my kids were really happy there. But I struggled with some of the sexism — how mothers were expected to fully embrace motherhood and how their careers and personal ambition was seen as secondary. Where you give birth really shapes your experience of parenthood.

Is there anything you learned while writing “Four Mothers” that has affected your approach as a parent?
There are a lot of similarities between parenting in different cultures. The system in Kenya is similar to the one in Japan. The main difference between those and the U.S. is how mothers are cared for by the women in their community, and it’s a much more social environment than a lot of women in the U.S. have. I think we need to think about how to care for new mothers as much as for babies.

Family Favorites

Dinner: My kids have a soft spot for Japanese food, since they were born in Japan.

Local Spot: 2Amys Neapolitan Pizzeria 

Vacation Spot: Wellfleet in Cape Cod

Family Activity: Biking around the city on our electric scooters from Japan