As a first-time parent, I used to envision taking my toddler to a coffee shop for a sweet little “date.” In my mind, we shared pastries and heartfelt conversations. In reality, it looked more like me picking up half-bitten muffins off the floor, wiping crumbs from the table and trying to keep my toddler from wandering to other people’s seats.
And that was just coffee.
Dinner is another beast — one I rarely attempted for fear I’d regret it, secretly wishing I’d stayed home and baked a frozen pizza instead.
But experts say eating out with toddlers doesn’t have to feel like wrangling a tiny tornado. Registered dietician Megan McNamee and occupational feeding therapist Judy Delaware from the parent-guiding coursework on early nutrition and eating, Feeding Littles, taught me that with a handful of simple strategies and the right expectations, eating out with young children is possible, and even, dare I say, pleasant.
Their No. 1 tip?
“Don’t strap toddlers in the highchair until it’s time for food,” McNamee says.
Toddlers don’t enjoy containment, so save those precious minutes for the meal itself. Some kids have more patience than others — but if you have a runner, this tactic can make or break the outing.
So, what should frazzled caretakers do while waiting for the food to arrive?
Here are more toddler-friendly strategies from Feeding Littles:
- Have them sit on your lap until the meal comes.
- Expect to stand up and walk around. New walkers need movement. Washing hands together is a great place to start — and reinforces good hygiene. If they still need more movement, step outside or walk near the front of the restaurant where you won’t disrupt the staff.
- Pack a restaurant-only busy bag with toys they haven’t seen before: Wikki Stix, board books, tiny figurines, stickers or Band-Aids, crayons and paper, memory cards, small cars or a mini dry-erase board for tabletop play.
- Don’t order kids’ meals first. Instead, fend off hunger with a small snack — dry cereal, freeze-dried strawberries — so they aren’t done eating long before the adults. (If your child is a very slow eater, skip this tip.)
- Try to avoid devices during meals, since kids may associate eating with screens. But if you absolutely need one during a meltdown or slow service, just put it away once the food arrives.
- Preview the menu when possible so you can order quickly and ask for the check as entrées hit the table — perfect for short attention spans.
As with anything toddler-related, it all comes down to practice.
A Local Restaurant’s Perspective
To get a real-world look at how restaurants support families, we spoke with the owner of Del Ray Café, a French-inspired spot in the Del Ray neighborhood of Alexandria that has served the community for more than 13 years. Housed in a refurbished 1925 bungalow, the café prioritizes local, organic ingredients, avoids single-use plastics and composts to minimize waste.
That thoughtfulness extends to families, too.
Co-owner Laurent Janowsky says the staff bring out bread for children immediately because “kids like to eat — and they like to eat things they don’t get at home.”
The restaurant also uses 28-by-28-inch sheets of butcher paper under highchairs and booster seats to catch the inevitable mess. “Everything they drop goes on the paper,” Janowsky says. “Parents don’t have to stress, and when they leave, we wrap it up and toss it. The carpet stays clean.”
The menu itself nudges little palates to be more adventurous. Breakfast includes classics like crêpes, eggs and pancakes, but lunch expands into French country classics such as salmon, duck confit (a favorite of the owners’ children) and even snails or frog legs, depending on the season. Janowsky says kids are often more willing to try new foods than parents expect, and that it beats plain ol’ chicken.
Before families head out, kids are offered a chouquette, the café’s signature puff pastry dusted with rock sugar.
Having grown up in France, Janowsky holds a strong belief that the table should be a sacred, screen-free place. “This is the time we converse, talk and find out things about each other,” he says. “Our days are so busy. Mealtimes are precious. You don’t always have their full attention as they get older.”
Of course, even in a welcoming space, toddlers have their moments. Janowsky encourages parents to step outside to soothe a disruptive child. As a father of two, he knows the sacrifices caretakers sometimes have to make at mealtime to be considerate of other guests.
Shifting Expectations Is Essential
The heart of eating out with children is about shifting expectations. Let go of the relaxed, lingering adult meals you enjoyed before kids.
Consider what’s developmentally appropriate, keep expectations low and remember that this season is temporary. With practice, most children develop longer attention spans and become more enjoyable mealtime companions.
Until then, choose family-friendly restaurants — and don’t forget to tip your restaurant staff.
Del Ray Café’s Crêpe Recipe
Ingredients:
- 2 large eggs, room temperature
- 1 1/4 cups whole milk, room temperature
1 cup (120 grams) all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons granulated sugar - 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
- 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, cooled, plus 1/2 teaspoon cold unsalted butter
- Fresh berries and confectioners’ sugar, for serving (optional)
Directions:
- Step 1: In a blender, blend eggs, milk, flour, granulated sugar, salt and 3 tablespoons melted butter until smooth, about one minute. Cover and refrigerate at least one hour or up to two days.
- Step 2: Preheat a 9-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat. Melt 1/2 teaspoon cold butter in a preheated pan. Reduce heat to medium-low. Briefly whisk batter, then pour 1/4 cup into center of pan, lifting pan off heat and slightly tilting in a circular motion to help batter spread into an even circle. Cook until top is set and bottom is golden brown, about 45 seconds. Flip and cook on second side until cooked through, about 45 seconds more.
- Step 3: Using a spatula, fold crêpe into quarters. Transfer to plate. Repeat with remaining batter for a total of eight crêpes.
- Step 4: Serve with berries and confectioners’ sugar, if desired.
Step 5: Make Ahead: Crêpes can be made three days ahead. Let cool, then stack between sheets of parchment, store in an airtight container and refrigerate or freeze up to one month.
