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The Awesome Power of the
Co-Survivor
By Rana Kahl
News as profound as “you have breast cancer” inevitably
brings you to your knees figuratively, if not literally, as
it did to me when I was diagnosed six years ago on my 33rd
birthday. I had no idea at that time, that I was beginning
an amazing journey with an overwhelming group of
co-survivors in tow.
Co-survivor. It sounds obvious, a person who is a survivor
with you. But a co-survivor is so much more than just that.
They are a unique and incredible collection of family,
friends, coworkers and strangers who are by your side,
sometimes virtually, through the experience of a lifetime.
No doubt, this process is much harder on those who have to
watch you go through the hard stuff- --the surgeries,
chemotherapy, radiation and the complications that come with
all of that – than it is on the person actually going
through the treatment.
Sometimes your co-survivors aren’t obvious or predictable.
They come in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of
life. Sometimes, they are people you don’t even know, while
those you expect to be there for you can’t be, for a myriad
of often inexplicable reasons.
When you start on a journey as awesome as breast cancer, you
spend time with yourself focusing on how strong you are. I
can beat this, I can handle this, I’m equipped for this, I
don’t need help other than from medical professionals. But
you quickly find out that it’s the strong among us who know
how and when to ask for help.
The amazing thing about co-survivors is that they are there
for you in so many different ways. The strength and support
may come from the laughter of your child, the warm embrace
of a trusted friend, the normalcy of your colleagues, the
daily phone calls from your mother, father, siblings, the
shoulder of your spouse or significant other, or the
confidence and knowledge of your medical team.
I am a very lucky person. I have many co-survivors. Picture
my mother and my husband, Kevin, at every single doctor
appointment, chemo treatment; in short, during every scary
step. My favorite co-survivor wasn’t even alive during all
this – my son, Aidan. I’d like you to meet a few of my super
stars.
Imagine my friend, Kate Dawson, standing under the window of
the Saint of healing in her church every Sunday, praying.
Once that mission was accomplished, she moved with equal
vigor to praying for the miracle of a child underneath the
appropriate saint’s window – and it worked!
Meet my friend, Marc Alembik, also my OB/GYN. He knew how
terrified I was and walked me through every step of the
process. Evenings, weekends, no matter when, he made sure he
was available to answer questions, interpret pathology
reports, select doctors and courses of treatment and
encourage me during the baldness, the tough side effects and
times of despair. He had faith and encouraged me to have it
also, firmly reiterating that he would one day deliver my
baby. He did.
Randy Wood, my former spin instructor and now great friend,
who made sure that I recovered physically from the chemo and
radiation slowly, but powerfully. I’m stronger now than I
was before.
Of course, there is Rob McGovern, the former CEO of
CareerBuilder (now CEO of market10), my work family at the
time of my diagnosis. When I told him through tears that I
had breast cancer, he armed me to fight this battle with
dignity and strength. Rob assured me that my job was
untouchable and that it was time for me to make my health
the priority my work had been thus far. He set the tone for
the entire company to deal with the illness with empathy and
professionalism. Rob is a role model for how a business
should handle such difficult situations.
For the last two years, the Komen National Race for the
Cure® has specifically highlighted the work of the
co-survivors in our lives by giving breast cancer survivors
an opportunity to publicly acknowledge their life-saving
contributions. Additionally, survivors have used the Komen
National Race as a public way to acknowledge, thank and
celebrate their co-survivors. People form teams together,
dress alike, decorate their shirts and sing as they traverse
the Race course, taking that hour or so out of their busy
lives to focus on changing the course of history by helping
find a cure for breast cancer.
If you’re a breast cancer survivor, continue to make a point
of celebrating your co-survivors. I celebrate mine daily.
They are the reason you and I stand tall and strong today.
If you are a co-survivor for someone who has been through
such an overwhelming experience, stop for a moment and
celebrate yourself. Whether you realize it or not, you have
permanently touched that person’s life with your heart,
soul, spirit and faith.
The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation formally rolled
out a program to recognize co-survivors in 2004 and has a
section dedicated to co-survivors on their Web site. Please
visit www.komen.org
to talk to a live resource, access resources unique to
co-survivors, participate in message boards, or to share
your story and inspire others. For more information about
the Komen National Race in Washington, D.C., visit
www.nationalraceforthecure.org or call
703-416-RACE (7223).
As a wife and mother, Rana Kahl divides her time between
family, professional life and volunteer work. Rana shares
her home, life and heart with her husband and three-year-old
son in Manassas, VA. An aspiring writer, Rana currently
chairs the Komen National Race for the Cure® Survivor
Committee among other volunteer efforts. This year’s Komen
National Race for the Cure® is Saturday, June 3rd, 2006. For
more information about the race, go to
www.nationalraceforthecure.org .
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