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MOM NOTES FEBRUARY 2008
Mom Notes
Time Flies . . . Whether You Are Having Fun or Not
The job of being a parent is complex and often staggering.
Sometimes we are prepared, sometimes we think we are
prepared and sometimes we enter into the job knowing we are
running blind and hoping not to crash. No matter what stage
our children are going through, it seems to me that the time
just flies by.
When my children were little, I really enjoyed the everyday
job of raising them and learning about their personalities.
Like many moms, I realized just how much I enjoyed that
stage after it was over. As my children grew, I found the
job of parenting young adolescents and teens much more
complex, and often not as fun as the toddler and preschool
years. However, I found parts of the teenage years even more
amazing and truly rewarding. With four children, it seemed
at the time that I had plenty of time to enjoy both of these
stages. In retrospect, the time flew by.
However, the challenges and job duties required for
parenting an adult child are something I never anticipated.
All four of my children are now adults, and I have three
grandchildren. (The grandchildren are another story in
themselves. That part of parenting is much easier, however
not less stressful.) Parenting an adult child takes a great
deal of self-control. I can not assert myself or simply say,
“Because I said so,” like I could when they were young. Now,
when one of my children calls me for advice or help, I have
to be careful to not put on too much of my “mom” hat, but
instead relate to them adult to adult. It is hard because
while they are grown-up, they are still my kids.
Right now in our family we have two significant issues. My
son is getting ready to leave for Iraq sometime during the
next couple of weeks. This will be his second tour of duty
there. He has assured me that the assignment his unit has
been given is much safer than his first tour. Although, I
want to believe this, I am still worried. He keeps telling
me to not worry, but how can I not worry. By the time this
issue of FAMILY Magazine comes out, he will be well on his
way and I am sure I will be sleeping with my cell phone on
my nightstand. Part of a mother’s job is to protect her
children from harm. There is not much I can do to protect
him while he is in Iraq.
Our second family issue involves our oldest daughter.
Recently, Amy discovered a lump in her breast and she is
scheduled for a biopsy. There is a history of breast cancer
on both sides of our family, so we are all extremely
concerned. The most difficult part is the not knowing and
the worrying about what might happen. Amy is very upset and
emotional about the issue. I try to assure her that there is
a very good chance of an extremely positive outcome, but
somehow it just doesn’t help.
In a way it reminds me of when she was young. She would
worry so much she would become sick to her stomach every
time she had to give a report or stand up in front of the
class. I always reminded her that she was well prepared and
assured her things would be okay. But she would worry,
worry, worry until her stomach became upset. After she gave
the report and earned an “A,” she would be relieved and tell
me I was right. However, the next time she would still
worry. I hope this time all of our worries turn out to be
unfounded.
They say the number one fear of most people is public
speaking. My number one fear right now is that something bad
will happen to one of my children. And, I can’t do anything
but worry. There is no boo-boo to kiss or hug I can give to
make it all better. I just have to be positive, hang in
there, keep doing my “mom job” and hope that this time of
worry flies by.
‘Til March, Happy Parenting!
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