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Dear Readers,
Romance Is Hard
This month in FAMILIES, we have an article written
by Mari Farthing titled Parents Need Romance Too!
There is a great deal of wise advice in this
article. When you have children, it is very easy to
let spending time on your marriage go to the bottom
of the priority list. It should, however, be at the
top. We teach our children many things in life and
making your marriage strong should be a very
important lesson.
I know from first hand experience how very easy it
is to let your marriage take a back seat to running
a busy household and raising children, especially in
today’s fast-paced society. There is always
something else to do – softball practice, music
lessons, orthodontist appointments, baseball games,
swim meets, going to the grocery store or maybe just
doing the laundry! (I used to call laundry my hobby
because isn’t a hobby something you do when you have
free time? With four very active children, there
were many, many years when ALL my free time was used
doing laundry!)
Through the years, my husband and I tried hard to
make our marriage a priority. When our family lived
in Tulsa, Oklahoma, we attended a great church where
the minister spoke often of having “date nights”
with his wife. Dr. Biggs' commitment to his wife was
that every Friday night, “no matter what,” they
would spend time together doing something special
for themselves as a couple. It did not need to be
expensive or even away from their home but they did
spend special time together, alone without children.
Their children knew, as well, that this was a
special time for their parents.
This commitment to your marriage speaks volumes to
children. Not only does it tell them that your
relationship to each other is significant, but it
also says that thinking about another person as much
as you think about yourself is a valued quality.
Your priority to your marriage tells them that
marriage is important and that making a strong
relationship with your spouse is important.
My husband and I were not as good about keeping a
regular “date night” as Dr. Biggs was. We did try to
do things for our relationship on a regular basis
when the kids were younger, but now that they are
older, it is much easier. I have also made it a
point to pass along to my children my knowledge that
your marriage is only as strong as the work you put
into it. In fact, most relationships are this way.
You only get out of a relationship what you put into
it.
There are so many marriages that fail. It is a sad
state today for the institution of marriage. We all
need to work harder at raising children who can
build better marriages and better families. Society
so often works against us, but love can be strong.
We can help our children know how to develop the
happiness that comes from the strong bonds of love.
We first must set the example and set that date
night.
‘Til March, Happy Parenting and Happy Valentine’s
Day,
Brenda
P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day to my own Valentine, Doug
Hyde. I love you. You are a great husband and
terrific father. xoxoxo |
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