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10 Ways to Promote Racial
Tolerance in Your Children
1. Talk about tolerance
Tolerance is an ongoing process; it cannot be captured in a
single moment. Establish a high "comfort level" for open
dialogue about social issues. Let children know that no
subject is taboo.
2. Identify intolerance when children are exposed to it
Point out stereotypes and cultural misinformation depicted
in movies, TV shows, computer games and other media.
Challenge bias when it comes from friends and family
members. Do not let the moment pass. Begin with a qualified
statement: "Andrew just called people of XYZ faith
'lunatics.' What do you think about that, Zoe?" Let children
do most of the talking.
3. Challenge intolerance when it comes from your children
When a child says or does something that reflects biases or
embraces stereotypes, point it out: "What makes that joke
funny, Jerome?" Guide the conversation toward
internalization of empathy and respect—"Mimi uses a walker,
honey. How do you think she would feel about that joke?" or
"How did you feel when Robbie made fun of your glasses last
week?"
4. Support your children when they are victims of
intolerance.
Respect children's troubles by acknowledging when they
become targets of bias. Don't minimize the experience.
Provide emotional support and then brainstorm constructive
responses. Develop a set of "comebacks" for children who are
victims of name-calling.
5. Foster a healthy understanding of group identities.
For tweens and teens, group identity is critical. Remind
them, however, of three things. First, pride in our own
groups does not mandate disrespect for others. Second, no
group is entitled to special privileges. Third, we should
avoid putting other groups down as a way to elevate the
status of our own groups.
6. Showcase diversity materials in your home.
Read books with multicultural and tolerance themes to your
children. Assess the cultural diversity reflected in your
home's artwork, music and literature. Add something new.
Give multicultural dolls, toys or games as gifts. Bookmark
equity and diversity Web sites on your home computer.
7. Create opportunities for children to interact with people
who are different from them.
Look critically at how a child defines "normal." Expand the
definition. Visit playgrounds where a variety of children
are present—people of different races/ethnicities,
socioeconomic backgrounds, family structures, etc. Encourage
a child to spend time with elders—grandparents, for example.
Attend religious services at a variety of houses of worship.
8. Encourage children to call upon community resources.
The earlier children interact with the community, the
better; we are not islands unto ourselves. If a child is
interested in stars, visit the local library, museum or
planetarium. A child who is concerned about world hunger can
volunteer at a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
9. Be honest about differences
Do not tell children that we are all the same; we're not. We
experience the world in different ways, and those
experiences matter. Help your child understand the
viewpoints of others.
10. Model behavior you would like to see.
As parents and as children's primary role models, we must be
consistent in how we treat others and in our commitment to
tolerance. If we as parents treat people differently based
on characteristics such as race or gender, our children are
likely to do the same.
Reprinted with permission
www.tolerance.org
Southern Poverty Law Center
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